My Journey

My mother had had three home births in Liberia before coming to the states and all three of my older siblings were delivered by my great grandmother, who was a very well known midwife at the time. When she came here, she had three c-sections. One of her doctors even tried to terminate her pregnancy because she felt my mom had “too many kids.”

Being black and dealing with healthcare has been an ongoing struggle for me and for my family. I often felt dismissed and ignored and I never felt safe. It was also hard to not have doctors or medical personnel that looked like me or understood my physical, emotional, mental, and cultural needs. Growing up in a predominantly black area and then moving to Utah, which is a predominantly white space, was a very difficult transition to make. My educational experience was often intertwined with racism and unconscious bias.

I stumbled upon midwifery when I was in between majors. I was studying dance and then switched to nursing. Working in the hospital was extremely toxic and I found myself being isolated from my fellow coworkers and patients. My mom had called me as I was googling midwifery and asked me if I ever thought about being a midwife. I told her that I hadn’t considered it before. She went on to tell me that I came from a long line of midwives, going back to the times of slavery. I have always been interested in my lineage and where I am sourced, so this sparked something in me and I decided to investigate further.

In 2017, I was picked, along with 18 other volunteers, to go to Uganda on scholarship. It was here that I witnessed my first birth. It was the first time that I recognized the power of true advocacy. I realized how important it was to understand a birthing person’s culture and traditions. I had the opportunity to explore that more when I returned to do an internship at the regional hospital. I was able to assist in multiple births. Being in an environment where I had to learn a new language and understand the culture of midwifery in that environment helped me to understand my clients on a deeper level and improved my quality of care.

This is one of the many reasons why it is so important to have diversity in healthcare. Unfortunately, black women and POC women suffer in the maternal healthcare system because of racism and unconscious biases. Black women are four times more likely to die in childbirth than white women. One of my dear friends died in childbirth this year. She was left in postnatal for hours without being attended to and stroked out because of her high blood pressure. So many women have suffered in the hands of this system and often go unheard and undervalued.

For me, being a black midwife goes beyond diversity. It is truly the key to creating a safer environment for us while we birth. What happens to us before, during, and after birth will affect how we do emotionally, physically, and mentally. Having more black birth workers can decrease the feeling of alienation and disconnect between clients and their providers. This also allows for more accountability among birth workers. When everyone around you is doing the same thing, it can often be hard to identify the wrong in their behavior. Having more black people and people of color can help everyone involved in birth work specifically to become conscious and culturally competent providers.

That is something I find myself adapting to now as a student. I am identifying the ways I can improve my lens. I am recognizing that, though I am black, I need to see each of my clients as individuals worthy of the care that will help them feel safe enough to birth their child into the world. Being a good student means being malleable and willing to learn, no matter how advanced you get in this profession. I also think it is important to be well informed on the needs and concerns of the community. For the past two years, I have hosted a women’s health seminar in my husband’s village. We find a collective of OBs, Midwives, and other healthcare providers and listen to the concerns of the women in the area. We address myths that surround maternal healthcare and try to gain a better understanding of the care that would actually be beneficial to the community.

I plan on continuing these seminars as a student and a midwife to gain a better understanding of the community I serve. I also have found that social media can be a powerful tool in spreading a message of awareness and reaching out to more mothers of color. I plan on continuing to use it throughout my journey to becoming a midwife. I believe doing this will help normalize black birth and black midwives.

I have also started an expansion education initiative. The goal of this initiative is to submerge myself in community midwifery. I am currently trying to expand my educational and clinical experience. I have had the opportunity to learn from midwives in Uganda, but I want to see what birth looks like in other spaces. This will also help me understand the systemic racism within the institutions that I reside in and how it can better be resolved. This is something that I want to continue after I graduate. I want to set up a system where black midwives and midwifery students have the opportunity to broaden their learning experience. It is important for me to learn from black midwives because I feel protected and understood as a student. I worked as a birth assistant in Utah, under a white midwife, and I hardly ever got to see any births. I was often called after the birth had happened and was asked to clean up. It was extremely hard to feel like I was gaining any experience and I often felt isolated. Learning from black birth workers eliminates that aspect for me, but finding such in my current environment is difficult. I hope that through this initiative, that can change for me and any black students that follow after me!

I am excited to continue my journey to becoming a midwife and I am so happy to share this journey with all of you!